I think it’s so bizarre that after so many changes in the way women, love and confidence is perceived that Valentine’s consumerism hasn’t caught up. Love means something so different in 2020, when loving yourself, dressing for yourself and being ‘self-partnered’ are so championed. It’s less about finding ‘the one’ as it is being the one for yourself. That’s why it feels so dated seeing rails of red lingerie, heart-shaped chocolates and tight dresses everywhere when we’ve moved so far away from those stereotypes.
I don’t care if you’re going on a date with someone new, someone you’ve been with for a while or your long term partner; you should never dress for anyone else. Sure, I’ve done it, we all have – but that ridiculous red lingerie isn’t kidding anyone and it certainly isn’t going to bring you more confidence. If the outfit that makes you feel your best is a t-shirt and jeans then wear it. If you’ve found the perfect pair of high waisted black trousers (still can’t get over them) wear those. And if the person you’re sat with doesn’t like what you’re wearing? Move tables.
Fashion has always been so integral to my confidence, what I’m wearing can change how I’m feeling immediately and is such a big part of who I am. The thought of wearing something to please someone else or to fit in has always felt awful to me but I’m finally pushing myself to stop doing it. I don’t need to either, because when I’m with the right people it doesn’t matter. I can’t count the number of comments and looks I’ve had over what I’m wearing and I realise now how much it killed my confidence to be in that situation. As much as everyone is entitled to an opinion, that opinion shouldn’t affect your taste or your confidence but is merely a reflection that your tastes aren’t the same.
It’s not until you sit across the table from someone who appreciates your taste in clothes… and wine that you realise how important it is to surround yourself with the right people. It may have taken me a while, but I realise now how important it is that I can dress for myself around the people I spend most time with. So if you’re currently worrying, swapping outfits and stressing about Valentine’s, I’ll take a guess that it’s not your dress you need to change.
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